Hear ye! Hear ye! The geeks of America would like to be heard.
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
- White House launches 'We the Geeks,' a series of online chats about science and technology
- The first one was Thursday and inspired CNN to draft a "We the Geeks" Constitution
- Document aims to establish rights for geeks everywhere
- What would you add or change? Share your thoughts in the comments area below
Editor's note: Despite his unfortunate reference to a "Jedi mind meld,"
some consider President Barack Obama the first geek president for his
tech fluency and outreach. Now the White House is launching its #WeTheGeeks initiative,
a series of online video chats meant to "highlight the future of
science, technology and innovation in the United States." The first one
happened Thursday at 2 pm ET on the White House's Google+ page
and included four leading thinkers in science and technology. We at
CNN.com began to wonder what would happen if there really was a part of
the dusty old U.S. Constitution devoted to geeks. So we, who are geeks ourselves, drafted one. Below, you will find Article I of the Geek Constitution.
THE GEEK CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES
PREAMBLE
We the Geeks of the
United States, in order to form a more perfect circle, solve equations,
ensure scientific literacy, cast magical spells, build the next killer
apps, and reap the blessings of geek literacy for ourselves and our
geeky friends, do ordain and establish this Geek Constitution for the
United States of America.
ARTICLE I
Section 1
All exponential powers herein applied to numbers shall not be imaginary, or be powers of three, unless it is deemed applicable.
Each House shall respect curiosity and the search for knowledge.
Members are encouraged
to make scientific discoveries, if they so desire, but they may indulge
any other topic of their choosing.
Section 2
The House of Representatives shall be a weekly gathering, and leaders from each state shall be determined by rolling a d20.
No person shall be a Representative who shall not have memorized at least 50 digits of the mysterious number pi.
Section 3
The Senate will gather
in a laboratory. Some members will be responsible for conducting
experiments, while others will take measurements. White laboratory coats
may be worn, but are optional.
No Person shall be a Senator until they can recite the periodic table of elements in their sleep.
Section 4
The time, place and
manner of holding elections for Senators and Representatives can be
calculated using complex equations. Such results shall be recorded in
binary format.
The Congress shall assemble at least once per year, and shall eat as much pizza as they want.
The facilities where the assemblies are held shall be technologically superior, and connected together with Wi-Fi or a LAN.
Section 5
Each House shall congregate in a grassy spot on the field of knowledge.
Members may engage in Geek debates or Geek battles as they see fit.
If a disagreement cannot be resolved, each House may, only if they choose, do battle against the other by taking turns in a role-playing format. The setting shall be a medieval castle surrounded by a wicked forest.
Section 6
The Senators and Representatives shall receive good compensation for their services, commensurate with abilities and education.
No Senator or
Representative shall be forced by circumstances to eat ramen noodles,
but they may still eat such soups because they are tasty.
Section 7
Some votes of the Geek
Congress shall be presented to the Geek President, but some may not.
Anyone may question assumed assertions and apply thoughtful, reasoned
judgment to solve the problems they face.
Section 8
The hassling of
impressionable Geeks who are still in their teens or younger shall be
prohibited, and it would not be too horrible if a tax or duty were to be
imposed on such acts, at roughly 10 dollars for each person, or perhaps
more.
In fact, it would be fantastic if no Geeks, or no people, were to be hassled.
The privilege of
indulging in video games shall not be suspended, lest it should spur a
rebellion or harm the public safety by inspiring an invasion of local
arcades.
Section 9
The Geeks shall have the power to change the course of the world;
To create the products we will use in the future;
To devise the services that will help us get things done;
To ensure adequate power outlet availability where it is needed;
To code all night long;
To protest networks via
social media/strongly worded letters/flash mobs/awkward questions at
conventions if a favorite television series gets canceled;
To CONspire to CONgregrate and form a CONglomerate at any CON of their choosing;
To spend untold amounts of time and energy making sure cosplay costumes are screen/page accurate;
To dress up as a superhero whenever the mood strikes;
To lament the cancellation of "Firefly" no matter how much time has passed;
To be on a first-name basis with their comic-book store clerk;
To explain things in more detail than anyone would ever care to know;
Section 10
No Geek shall enter into situations in which they feel ashamed of their interests or skills;
No Geek shall feel that their ideas are unwanted in society;
No Geek shall fear that they will be bullied because they are a little different;
No Geek shall skip the latest episode of "Doctor Who";
No Geek shall pass up an argument about whether "Star Wars" or "Star Trek" is superior to the other;
No Geek shall forget
that Joss Whedon and J.J. Abrams are perhaps the most polarizing humans
ever, especially when they kill off favorite characters or use too many
lens flares.
No Geek shall be concerned with their age in calendar years. A Geek has the right to be a Geek until the day of death.
TL;DR: One may become their own kind of Geek, and draw their own conclusions about divisive Geek debates.
What would you add? Please add your suggestions in the comments below. Your Amendments could be included in the Geek Bill of Rights.
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